Red alert! This is not a drill! We are going to join the legions that will storm Area 51 on Friday 20th of September!
This endeavour isn't for weaklings, if you join us, you do it being aware of what you risk. It will be hard, I won't lie to you guys, but it must be done... for many valid reasons! We will rescue those not economically poor aliens, free them from their captivity and pet their bald heads (unless they've discovered the existence of hair lotions). If you don't feel the American duty of bringing democracy along with a quite strong sense of unlimited freedom everywhere by militarily visiting others, don't leave: you will also have the possibility of getting a more concrete reward for successfully storming Area 51. You may adopt an alien brother and live with him, or enjoy pure destructive power with an alien plasma flamethrower and revive our fallen comrades with an alien medic resuscitating device, or hijack an UFO and crash onto the White House to yeet Trump.. don't worry, they won't sue you for that: Americans are used to alien invasions that destroy their cities. Whatever you seek, a reward is granted in any case: 100% illogical fun. Son! Get ready, bring your waterguns and prepare to go down in history!
Now back to serious stuff...
this is the plan boys: you will be deployed basing on your class.
Kyles will watch our back until we get in the storming zone, once you are there use the Monster Energy Buff and naruto-run rush to Area 51 like if there wasn't a tomorrow. Annihilate whatever gets into your way (just not our mates, thank you).
Anti-vax kids will naruto-run to the frontlines, shielding the rest of our army from enemy bullets. If they die because of a cold, grab them up and shield yourself.
Mercenaries, armed to the teeth, will be kept in the rearguard and make a very large naruto-run curve to surround the Area 51 guards, but most importantly to keep their knives and rifles far from us.
Naruto runners are our masters, they will teach us the ultimate technique to naruto-run towards the guards, dodging their bullets and finally bump into them at 300.000 km/h.
Karens will advance once the field is clear and get the Area 51 doors open for all of us, threatening the porters to talk to their managers, getting where the aliens are kept.
Crack heads have no orders, just be yourselves and the outcome will be destructive enough to lead us to victory.
Rock throwers will be our siege artillery, don't go hug the guards please, we need you to make it rain hell on them, just watch out for Jesus guards.
Furries will be our K-9 units and scare the shet out of any guard pointed by them.
The rest of the staff will wait for the massacre to end and finally sneak in safety to the aliens cages, collecting our well-deserved alien prizes.
The rules are simple:
-do not cheat
-do not hack
-do not spam
-do not flood
-do not abuse of bugs
-do not multiaccount
-do not insult
-do not place blocks
-do not craft
-do not escape the map
-do not destroy the map
-do not hurt your own teammates
-do not steal others' alien stuff
-do not steal Kyles' Monster drinks (that's at your own risk)
-follow Staffs instructions
That's all! We will wait for you the 20th of September, in Nevada, US, at 5:00 am (local hour), at 10 km east from Area51. We will attack at the dawn.
Son of Zocker, this is our time to shine and open a new chapter in human-alien history.
Good luck Zocker, they can't stop us all!